Walk a Mile in my Moccasins 

Interview with Sharon Benson 

By Marcia Good 

“Meet me at the art studio; I’m there most days of the week.”  Sharon Benson had just spoken to 300 students at City High School in Grand Rapids, Michigan on the topic of homelessness.  She was one of three representatives from Westminster Presbyterian’s  The Hard Times Cafe, a gathering place for those who live on the streets in the Heartside neighborhood of Grand Rapids.  

During the presentation I was struck with her straight-spoken, honest sharing of how she has become empowered since her bout with homelessness.  Her help came from her involvement with the The Hard Times Cafe and from Heartside Ministries located nearby.  And now she is giving back.  Despite having both  physical and financial  difficulties, she has a can-do attitude and a generous spirit and uses both to volunteer and speak on behalf of the homeless. 

When I entered the art studio at Heartside Ministries on South Division Avenue, Sharon was busy laying out a pattern on a large piece of black fabric.  “I’m making a pair of pants for my son, Wayne.  Can you interview me while I work? 

Sharon grew up on the east side of the state in the small town of Clawson.  Her father, is  Native American, Seminole-Creek, and her mother was first generation Irish-American.  “My grandmother was a seamstress in Ireland.  She taught me to sew by measuring body parts and then creating a pattern out of white butcher block paper.” 

With confident movements she repositioned the fabric.  This, despite the fact that she has the use of only one hand.  “I suffered a stroke and a collapsed lung in October 1999.  I had to learn to walk, talk, and eat all over again.  Now my left arm doesn’t do a thing.” 

The stroke also led to a period of homelessness.  She and her two sons, Tom (then 26 years old) and Wayne (then 15 years old) were renting an apartment.  After the stroke Sharon was wheelchair bound and unable to keep the apartment clean.  She thinks that the unkempt apartment, coupled with the fact that the landlord wanted their unit for his own family members, is why they were evicted.

“We lost most of our things and had to leave them there.  We didn’t know anyone with a pick-up truck and we had no place to go.”  They stored a few things in a friend’s garage and the rest of their belongings they stashed in their car.  “We spent the next 5 months living in a tent in state parks.  Then the authorities caught up with them.  “They said they were going to put me in a nursing home, Tom in jail, and take Wayne to a foster family.  They felt the boys were abusing me.”  They took refuge at a friend’s who let them have two rooms for $250.00 a month.  Sharon described the two months there as very difficult.  “I was treated like their slave.  We managed to survive for a while.” 

Things became so uncomfortable that they decided to leave.  “Tom bought a station wagon and we set it up like a little nest with everything we needed, all our clothes and food and stuff.”  They developed a routine.  “Tom had a job at Meijer working nights.  During the day we would park the car in a rest stop parking lot and he would sleep.  At night we would park in a far corner of the Meijer parking lot and I would sleep.”  Then came the most painful moment of her life.

Once again they were discovered and this time the Family Independence Agency authorities demanded that she give up parental rights to her youngest son, Wayne.  This memory is still difficult for Sharon to share.  “Wayne was sent to Wedgwood Crossroads at Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services in Grand Rapids to help him with anger management so Tom and I relocated to Grand Rapids too and got an apartment.” 

On November 8, 2002, Tom shot and killed a man.  “I had just gotten to the point where I was feeling things were settling down and I was beginning to know my way around the city.”  The event happened in Sharon’s apartment while Sharon was there.  Sharon called 911, Tom tried to get help and they both waited for the police to arrive.  Sharon says, “Nobody ran.”  Tom claimed it was accidental but was sentenced to prison for 4 to15 years for involuntary manslaughter.  Wayne continued his rehabilitation and is now a student at Grand Rapids Community College. 

 Sharon speaks of her philosophy.  “I try not to remember the bad stuff.”  She goes on to explain the good and bad influences while she was growing up.  “My father was an S.O.B. and would have been no matter what color he was, white, black, red, pink, purple or polka-dotted.  My mother said we had to make our own way and stand on our own two feet and my grandmother raised us to have the work ethic.  We also lived by recycling and re-using everything” 

What is it like being half Native American, half Irish American?  She says, “I live in two worlds.  I am very proud of both my heritages.  I am so comfortable in the woods it’s not funny and I can find my way anywhere.  I have an amazing sense of direction.”  She then shared a story where she remembered visiting her grandfather who lived in the family chickee (an open-sided thatched roof home raised on poles) in a large swamp in the Georgia-Florida area.  “I was sleeping outside on a hammock and when I woke up I saw a large mouth of teeth next to my head.  My grandpa said, ‘Oh, that’s just Ole Gaiter,’ and he threw him a pancake and the alligator swam away.  Ole Gaiter came to Grandpa every morning to get breakfast.” 

The things that bring me joy now are seeing my son sell stuff (Sharon and Wayne both create works of art and sell them through the Heartside Art Gallery) and finding out that I can help somebody.”  Sharon volunteers many hours each week to run the gift store at The Hard Times Cafe as well as serves on their board of Elders.  She also helps with the annual Aids Walk held in Grand Rapids.  

“My watch words are Walk a mile in my moccasins and The Serenity Prayer.” 

As for dreams, she has a couple.  “One is a family dream to start a shop that would be a restaurant and deli bar.”  And the other... “I don’t think will come true but I’ve always had a longing for it.”

It’s a house.  

“I have it all planned out in my head.  It’s a u-shaped house and I see it being in New Mexico – I know where the kitchen is and everything, and it will have a courtyard in the middle with a big tree and benches all around it.” 

Although Sharon is not living in the u-shaped house at the present she has found a home that has much purpose and meaning and where she can give so much of herself.  As she shows me some of her art work in the studio, she looks around at the others who are busy creating and says, “This is my second family; we are all family here.”